When Did That Happen?

Time's flying here in Colorado. 20 days left for my stay here at Sky Ranch Ute Trail near Lake City in Colorado. I'm in a coffee shop here called Mean Jeans in Lake City listening to a little "American Girl" by Tom Petty while chuckling at seeing the "No ID; No Alcohol" sign next to the cash register. Outside is one of the semi-frequent 15 minute long rain showers that seem to be all the rage here. Oh and the side of a mountain. That's always cool.

It really has been fun here. Being one of the activities guys can be a little tiring but at least we are free from the obligations of planning and entertaining. Plus we get to do all kinds of manly things like chop wood, hunt bears, and get cool scars. I've already torn chunks of skin out of my right hand twice so far, pulled (or cut) about 16 splinters out of my hands and arms, and have suffered through a bunch of muscle cramps, sprains, and strains. At present, my middle finger on my right hand is missing a bit of skin and the muscle that is over my left shoulder blade is a dull ache at the moment.

At least the temperature is only in the double digits...

I played a lot of basketball this week with a really cool family. They were the Davis family from the DFW area (or thereabouts) and Mr. Brad and his four sons (Joshua, Caleb, Jonathan, and David) played four pretty intense games of full-court 5 on 5 basketball Monday night and last night. Joshua and Caleb are 16 and very good players. I was impressed and happy with myself for being able to keep up with them (ya know since I'm an old 24 year old). They were a very cool family who you could tell enjoyed being around each other and loved each other. I'm going to miss them.

My cousin Anna recently gave birth to her first child, Daniel. He's premature and very, very tiny.


I'm going to try to stop by on my way back from Ute Trail to see him. It's pretty awesome that Anna and Jason have a kid now. It's weird too though. It's always been The Parents and the Grandkids whenever we have family get-togethers. Recently, the Grandkids have added two spouses to the ranks. Now we have a first cousin once removed or something like that. Seems like we're growing up or something like that. Getting older. I mean, I'm getting excited about turning 25 this year so that my insurance payments will go down. When did that happen?

It seems like the theme of this year so far has been The Acknowledgement and Acceptance of Getting Older, Part 1. Family is getting bigger. Parents are getting doctor bills. Having to worry about payments and insurance. Moving. Moving again. Savings account. Life insurance. Being in the position of having been out of college for two years. Making cross country trips solo and booking a hotel solo. Weird and different. But good. Real good.

Ah well at least I still like stupid pictures....

Quite hilarious...

Colorado!

For those of you that haven't heard by now, on Sunday I'm going to be heading to the great state of Colorado to help out at Sky Ranch's Ute Trail camp. For the next 5-6 weeks it will be mountains, high ropes, kayaking, mountain rain storms, sleeping under the stars, mountains, and way cooler temperatures than those here in Texas. It's going to be awesome!

Oh and here's a new one....

Goodnight

Goodnight
Daylight
I hope that
All is well

Would that I
Could touch your face
Though Orion refuses
To allow me

Gemini laughs
In derision
At my longing
Andromeda sighs

Goodnight
Daylight
I pray Draco
Leaves you be

And someday soon
That Ursa
Bears you swiftly
Back to me

Though Aries
And the Archer
Fight to keep
Their Queen from me

Goodnight
Daylight
Let Leo guard
Your bed

And very soon
The Scales will tip
And we will be
Restored again

Darkest night
Lies before the dawn
Which soon breaks
Into daylight

Funny Class Moment

So here at Sky Ranch, I teach a class entitled "Expeditions." During this class, we take the kids on a hike to talk about the carbon cycle, walking them through how carbon can move from one organism to another. For the section where I talk about carbon moving around in the Animal Kingdom, mostly through animals eating each other, I get the kids to act out different animals that are going to eat or be eaten by another animal.

A few weeks ago, I got a kid and told him to be a raccoon. Not knowing what to do or what noise to make, he finally gave a feeble "rawr." (Think the sound you make when you pretend to be a monster)

I gave him an exaggerated confused look and simply said, "Um, raccoons don't rawr."

Cue enthusiastic laughter from my raccoon demonstrator, the other kids, the adults, and myself.

Good times....good times...

The Necklace

I recently re-found an old necklace that I had bought years ago; probably at a tourist spot in Colorado. The leather of my South African necklace is starting to fray, so I decided to take the elephant cross pendant off it. The necklace already had a pretty cool arrowhead pendant on it; so I added the elephant cross and a Sky Ranch Sky symbol to it. After doing all this, I realized that these three pieces tell about four things that make up a big part of who I am.

First, the elephant hair cross. The cross is a representation of my being a follower (to the best of my feeble ability) of Jesus Christ. I believe He lived a perfect life, and willingly died for my sins, rising again to sit at the right hand of the Father.

The cross is made of elephant hair which is a constant reminder of my time in South Africa. Those were two trips that changed my life completely. They were times when I can vividly remember God reaching down and speaking to my soul and spirit. They were incredible times of learning and being stretched.

The Sky symbol is representative of my time at Sky Ranch. The lessons in patience, tolerance, humility, confidence.

The arrowhead is representative of my Native American heritage. I believe I have Crow, Creek, Cherokee, and Apache blood in me. Sadly, I have no documentation (yet) to prove this conclusively.

That's just a short little bit about my necklace.

Two weeks ago I was sitting with a group of students when one of the boys said he knew something about me that I didn't tell them. Upon being asked, the boy said that I believed in God. I asked how he knew that, to which he replied, "You have a cross on your necklace." To my embarrassment looking back, I remember changing the subject by giving him a curt "Yep." Now I realize that that had the potential to be a great chance to talk to him about God. I didn't take it. I was embarrassed to talk about my Lord and Savior with a 5th grader.

This past week I was sitting with a different group of students (8th graders this time) and one of the girls asked me point blank if I was a Christian. At this point, I remembered my conversation with the 5th graders, and in an instant knew that I wouldn't repeat my previous mistake. So I engaged the conversation and actually talked it out with them.

It felt good to be able to have the chance to redeem myself like that. I don't know if that was God giving me an extra shot at it (though why couldn't He?). I took the chance and it was great to rise up the way I should have done in the first place.

Hymns

I was driving the long, straight roads of central Oklahoma last Friday night on my way to see Katie. Usually on those long road trips, I'll set the iPod to play a sermon from Matt Chandler, Tommy Nelson, or Mark Driscoll. For whatever reason, during the last 45 minutes-ish of the trip, I decided to flip over the actual music stored on my iPod, finding release first in the words of Dan Haseltine and Jars of Clay in (one of the best songs ever, in my opinion) World's Apart:

I look before the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need You now
I owe You more each passing hour....
...Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin-soaked heart and make it Yours

I absolutely love that song, mostly because it's something that I wish that I could say every day. Moving on from there, Kevin Max filled the speakers with The Old Rugged Cross:

So I'll cherish the old rugged cross (old rugged cross)
Till my trophies at last I'll lay down
I will cling to the old rugged cross
And exchange it someday for a crown

It was at this point that I was vividly reminded of a gentleman in my church growing up named Don Buffington. Mr. Don used to stand proudly in the upper-right corner of the church choir for as many Sundays as I can remember. Mr. Don was the man who would always add that second small repeat at the end of the line of whatever hymn was being sung (represented in the above parenthesis). Always and without fail.

For some reason, I tend to remember his addition for this song as being a long drawn out almost mournful addition. He did it for just about any hymn we sang such as When We All Get to Heaven:

When we all get to heaven
What a day of rejoicing that will be (that will be)
When we all see Jesus
We'll sing and shout the victory (shout the victory)

Mr. Don went Home some years back, but for just a few, short minutes Friday night, I could hear him singing along with the old hymns. And it was a great feeling and remembering.

The last song that moved through the car was Delirious?'s version of My Glorious:

God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My Glorious!

I don't know exactly what was going on in my heart, head, and spirit that night. Maybe it was the sermons and the memory of a family friend long gone. Probably it was just all God, moving in me. For whatever reason, by the song's end, I was in tears. Had been in tears for a minute or two.

It just felt good to worship my Savior...

Feel This (Part 2)

Previously on Josh's Blog....

I don't want to lose that kid inside, and there are days where I have a hard time seeing his smile.

Because we all should know by now that the world is cruel. Heartless. Cold. Uncaring.

And I hate that.

And the beauty you have now is brighter than before...

Beauty. It's incredible how much beauty there is that we take for granted. How much warmth; how much integrity; how much faith. Beauty that is unsoiled by the perverted hands of the so-called "experts." Brighter than before... redemption.

Let go...let go and believe.

Believe. Redemption. Believe in redemption. Redemption of belief. I'll take either one. Just something to help me remember that there are people in this world who care. People who know that what they do matters, and aren't afraid to do something. People who don't charge anything for a smile. Who laugh because you do and cry because you need to.

Whatever happened to being free enough to cry and show that you're dying on the inside? To remove the mask and let people know who you really are. To not hide.

Where are those people?

Let go...

Let go...





Believe!

Feel This

Okay, I admit it. Katie and I have been watching the TV series One Tree Hill since Christmas. We're on the third season (possibly fourth by now, I'm not too sure). One of the songs in the series, entitled "Feel This" sort of grabbed my attention.

What if I told you, you're tears haven't been ignored...

Sometimes I remember some of the things that I've cried over and hope to God that that's true. Looking back, I know that a lot that was petty/silly/insignificant, but at the time I hoped it was true. My mom told me once when I was little that God caught every tear that I cried and stored them up in heaven. Somehow, remembering that helped....

....And everything that was taken, can be restored?
What if I told you, that innocence is yours
And the beauty you have now, is brighter than before?

Everything that was taken? Child-like innocence, faith, and hope? Sometimes it seems like those things are so far away from who I've become. Sometimes it feels the opposite and there's adult knowledge, skepticism, and despair. I don't want to lose that kid inside, and there are days where I have a hard time seeing his smile.

Oops..coffee shop's closing....

To be continued....